February 2012
36 posts
Reading about Adam and Eve with my 4y/o I told him that they didn’t listen to God. He responded in Chinese by saying “坏蛋 bad egg.”
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Jackie Chan A-Z: 5 Clips from “Armour of God 龍兄虎弟” (1987) Fighting Monks, Amazons, it’s like Indiana Jones http://t.co/n8LEAXk6 KungFu
In Mx’s US Law class she’s studying Morse v. Frederick (2007). Remember “Bong Hits 4 Jesus”? I played Cypress Hill! No China equivalent!
Looks like by July 2012 we’re going to start tweeting about what our newborn says in Chinese! Our 4 y/o is very excited. So are we!
Mx is working with our 4 y/o on writing numbers. He told her in Chinese 妈妈，六像一个”B” Mommy, 6 is like a “B.”
I read a book with an excerpt from Plato to our 4y/o. I said his name is Plato 柏拉图. He exclaimed, “PLAY-DOH 橡皮泥? I know Play-doh 我知道橡皮泥!”
Talking with college friends on Saturday. Our 4y/o told one he likes to cook food. She asked what he likes to cook. He said Chinese food.
Our 4y/o lied so I told him the story of “the Boy Who Cried Wolf.” MX said China has the same story:”狼来了” or “Wolf is coming.” Funny.
“Jeremy Lin of the Knicks will soon get the benefits of being an NBA star: 1 salary bump 2 endorsement deal 3 a Kardashian” -Jimmy Fallon
Chinese VP said the 1st place he wanted to go? Hollywood. He wanted to see where all his favorite pirated DVD movies were made. -Jay Leno
China’s VP was in LA today. He apologized for his problem with the language. Apparently, his interpreter doesn’t speak Spanish. -Jay Leno
February 15th 2012 will be a day that will Mx and I will always remember. Our 4y/o used chopsticks for the first time at dinner! YEAH!
Our 4y/o had 3 questions for me. 1 What is water? 水是什么做的? 2 Where did I get my boo boo? 你的伤害是什么做的? 4 What’s a toothbrush made of? 刷牙是什么做的?
“VP of China showed up at the White House. When you get behind on the rent the landlord shows up, starts looking around.” -Jay Leno
Mx was talking with our 4y/o about buying veggies. He then announced, “菜帮我们的大便出来! Eating veggies helps our poo come out!”
Our 4y/o explained in Chinese why he doesn’t eat spicy food. He said, “我的皮肤很嫩，吃辣会痛死了. My skin is tender, when I eat it, it kills!”
So many books, so little time. http://ow.ly/92wiK “Autumn in the Heavenly Kingdom: China, the West, and the Epic Taiping Civil War”
Our 4y/o beckoned me to the table to eat spicy cucumbers. He said in Chinglish, “Daddy, come to the table and eat spicy 黄瓜 huángguā!”
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In bizarre wedding news: “Bizarre penguin wedding at the Shanghai Aquarium” complete with nice wheels! http://bit.ly/xjaRNU wedding
“Obama would make a lovely next door neighbor, as long as you’re not Chinese then he’d be constantly borrowing stuff.” -Ann Coulter
Mx asked our 4y/o in Chinese if he was doing his homework. “你做你的作业吗？” he answered (wrongly), “对，我做我的业 Yes, I’m doing my work.“
“A mother in China gave birth to a 15-pound baby. Chinese officials say it’s so big, it can do the work of two babies.” -Conan O’brien
Our 4y/o showed me his homework. It was a big picture of a cow. He said “look at the dog 够, uh cat 猫, no.. moo 哞哞叫, no cow 牛.” Funny!
I asked our 4y/o what story his teacher read at school. After a long silence I asked again. He said in Chinese, “我在想 I’m thinking.”
Jon Huntsman: created jobs, ambassador to China. Honest Ethical. Good husband and father. Never stood a chance in the primaries. -Jay Leno
The other night tucking our 4y/o in he asked me, “Daddy, do they have Calvin and Hobbes in Shanghai?” I said no only in English!
Jay Leno’s comeback to Clint Eastwood’s Super bowl ad. “It’s half time in US, but China’s got the ball and we’re down by 15 trillion!”
Well, that was easy. Found “TAKEN” or 《劫持》 or 《飓风营救》 on Youku like THAT! http://ow.ly/8Szsm Sound is off, just like a bootleg DVD!
In winter 2011 our red Chinese lantern was blown into the snowy woods, never recovered. Today my 4y/o and I found it in the woods!
When I vacuum our 4y/o watches the vacuum cleaner suck the cord back into itself. He tells me in Chinglish, “It’s like 面 miàn noodles”
Not China Related: We’re doing a weekly comic about Photobooks over at this site! Hope you like them! http://ow.ly/8R5M0
Our 4y/o told his friend about who will come for the Super Bowl. He said in Chinglish, “My grandpa is coming and my um my um…奶奶 Nǎinai”
Fake Apple store, fake iPhones. now they have a fake Steve Jobs Angel Introduce Android Tablet On Stage http://bit.ly/wArEzL
While watching this old video of Shanghai circa 1947 http://ow.ly/8NxUc our 4y/o told MX that Shanghai was “a busy Chinese town.”
“Another tattoo? I could see the twisted ink. It was the Chinese word for Celtic symbol.” -Tina Fey from “BOSSY PANTS” http://ow.ly/8P4g9
Recently our 4y/o had frustrating times with 3 things: a yo-yo 溜溜球 chopsticks 筷子 and a button 纽扣. Tears were involved.
January 2012
66 posts
China has outlaws? really? Sounds like the wild west!! “China’s Outlaws Find a 2nd Home in ‘Lawless’ Burma” http://ow.ly/8MNIN
Our 4y/o sat on the couch reading his Batman comic collection and said in Chinglish: “Somebody 放屁ed. 某一个人passed gas (farted).” 啊呀！
MX is reading for class and asked me “what does ‘hit the sack’ mean?” I replied: “睡觉吧 go to sleep.” English has weird expressions.
Our 4y/o asked MX in Chinese: “妈妈，米是白色的，雪也是白色的，为什么它们不一样但是一样的颜色？ Rice is white and snow is white, they’re different but the same color?”
My 4y/o and I just played ROBOT DADDY 机器爸爸. I prepared his breakfast and switched between Chinese and English as I am programmed! 哈哈
Being married to a Chinese wife: Her family? No concept of Christmas cards. My family: I procrastinate + they’re Chinese New Year cards!
My Chinese mother-in-law can’t sleep so she SKYPED us now. Why can’t she sleep? 放鞭炮 Fàng biānpào fireworks! We can barely hear her! STILL!
A really interesting talk with Murong Xuecun on China’s internet literature http://ow.ly/8H9sx plus how the literature evades censors.
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Last night’s SOTU Obama said TAX 34 times FAIR 8 times OSAMA BIN LADEN 1 time CHINA or CHINESE 5 times FREEDOM and LIBERTY 1 time each.
Our 4y/o has a cough and after he coughed a bit he told me, “Daddy, I don’t like my cough. 爸爸我不喜欢我的咳嗽”
Talking about animals our 4y/o consistently adds a phrase in Chinese: “它不吃人的 It doesn’t eat people.” or “吃人的, it eats people.”
Newt has an ad attacking Romney because he speaks French. Well, Huntsman speaks Chinese. Rick Perry of course speaks gibberish. -Jay Leno
Talking to my Chinese father-in-law over Skype during Chinese New Year is like talking to a reporter in a war zone. BOOM BOOM!
“Obama doesn’t pay admission to Disney World. He just charges it to the China section of Epcot.” -Jimmy Fallon